Thursday, December 23, 2010

Maadddaaaaaaammmmmmeee, come see my shoooooooppp

SO!

where do i begin? Niema has already got gastro!! it was a nasty two days but she got over it with oober quick timing which was awesome but also sucked because it meant that she missed the last few days at the orphanage so weve decided to o back next week and lend a few more pairs of hands for a few hours. Pinkie will love that- last time we took her out in the sun and stood her up.... i have never heard her laugh until then, but she was literally having the greatest time of her life! But anyway, weve come back to anjuna and were here for xmas, leaving on the 29th dec to travel to the airport to get our lovely Heather!

We were so knackered from the work weve been doing that for the first few days we literally did nothing but sleep and eat and sit in the sun for a few hours. now, weve found the best places to eat, found the good stalls at the awessome anjuna flea market (btw i took some photos of the avatar-elfin people to show you guys how freaking COOL they are) and generally just been bums. But now were having a minor freak out as there doesnt seem to be ANYWHERE for us to stay for new year. we want to go down south because weve had enough of the constant trance, and generally think its time to move on, but all the names we were given to try are fully booked. so were going to just go to palolem tomorrow (around 1 hour away) and wander around, find somewhere (hopefully) relativly cheap, and book it until at least the 3rd so that we know we have somewhere to sleep!! if not, looks like were sleeping on the beach!

were getting pretty pissed off with the constant hassling and 'madammmmmmmmmm' the whinney, indian women who come over and stand above you, offereing them everything including the nosering from their own raging nostril (true story, ask niema) for a price. they all HATE us on the beach cus we refuse to look at anything they are sellling cus we know theyll make us buy it! a women the other day actually said

'dont even try asking them, you will DIE infront of them before they buy' !!!!

hahahah!!!! seems that they may be getting the picture!!

today niema and jo have gone to see old goa, i decided to stay behind to get a bit of my own time and catchup on the blog and other stuff. plus im totally shattered, i think im getting a cold. which is ridiculous.

totally cant believe that its christmas eve tomorrow..... thats NUTS!! making me think of home more than i have been yet, which im kinda scared of. weve done a month away now, its crazy. but i want to carry on without getting homesick... i guess if there is anytime its going to happen it will be when people are playing cheesy christmas music and dressing up as a freaky santa clause (they wear masks cus they think santa is white) so they look like a kind of micheal jackson-esque santa clause. very very weird.

but anyway, if your reading this and you want to get in touch, my phone number is 00919527791635 im not recieving texts at the moment, so just ring. i would be hapy to hear some friendly voices !!

and if i dont write again for a while, MERRRRYYY CHRRRIIISTTTMAAAAAAAAASSSS!! xx

'God has seen what you have done'

So weve finished the playground! Its all painted, sanded, cleaned and fresh. The ground has been cleared of all the class, metal and dangerous things that the kids could have stood on. Its done!

It took a week of hard graft everyday, in the boiling sunlight in order to finish it, but its done. it might not be much but its something, and having us 12 girls there playing music and chatting all day, painting this boring playground with the brightest colours we could find has made a huge difference to the atmosphere here. The mental patients on the other side were all dancing with us to Bob Marley who turned out to be their favorite artist of the ipod! You actually wouldnt believe it but this old lady was bobbing around waving her arms in the air and singing to 'jammin' it was pretty special!!!

Everyday the nuns have been bringing us tea and homemade cake or buiscuits at 4.30, making us all sit down and telling us 'thank you' a million times, repeating that God has seen all our hard work, and that they are so proud of us. Thanking us on behalf of the children, saying how good it has been for the older ladies to have us there everyday, how much they have enjoyed it - how much they will miss us.

It was really sad to leave the orphanage but when we did it was with really mixed emotions.... I was told two stories, one which made me so so happy and the other which really upset all of us working at St Theresas.

On the last day we were told that Dash, Peroni and Prianka had been adopted! And that their new families would be coming to get them in the next 6 months! Amazing!! They of course didnt understand what this meant but i just knew that this meant these kids could get out! they had a chance at normal life, with a family!  Unfortunatly just after we were told this, we were also told pinkie's story of how she ended up in the orphanage. To cut it short, she was originally brought to the nuns by her mother, who asked them to take her in. The nuns refused, Pinkie was only minorly disabled, her mum could cope and they knew it. they had a lot of kids to look after and wanted pinkies mum to try a bit harder before they took her away.

a few days later pinkie showed up on the doorstep of the orphanage in a plastic bag. she was covered head in bruises, and now blind, partially deaf, unable to swallow, unable to move. The nuns realised that the mother had done this so that they had no choice but to take her in. Her mum is the reason that Pinkie cannot walk, talk, see, hear properly or move. no wonder she has the muscle spasms, or freaks out and tenses when she is picked up - she cant see, and im  pretty sure you wouldnt trust anyone after being thrown around enough to cause a disabitlity.
I found it pretty difficult to understand why her mum would of done this. fair enough if you cant look after her, if you dont have enough money, patience or time. but why not just leave her outside without fucking the rest of her life for her? why not have just left her there, without having to have beat her literally senseless? Because now, she doesnt even have the choice to leave. she is in there forever.

I dont think I will ever be able to understand how a mother could do that. I guess if what the nuns said is right 'God has seen what you have done' then i dont have to understand it. its been seen, and judged already.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

The Weekend and the new project

So we went to stay in Anjuna this weekend, which is a really beautiful beach but you do get hassled a bit by fruit sellers and shopkeepers etc.

We had a nice day in the sun and some amazing food on both Friday and Saturday night which was sweeeeet - tandori red snapper for something like 3pounds for a huuuuge feast! Very very good. On friday evening we met a load of guys who were all travelling alone but had met in their hostel dorm, and quizzed them on their favorite places where they had been. All of them started to ask why we were going to Baga for New Years (we had been told by the other volunteers at the centre that Baga was the place to be) and that we should be heading somewhere down south like Palolem where there are more beach parties and its a bit more chilled out.

When we went to Baga the next night we understood what the guys were talking about.... Baga was a complete and utter shithole. Pure sleaze. Girls get into night clubs free and get free drinks (that taste like nail varnish remover) all night, and guys pay 100's of rupees to get into these clubs because they know the girls will be there because its a free night out.

I cannot even explain to you how strangely the people out here dance. I don't know if it's PC to call them 'Indians' but these peoples dance moves are like David Gueta at a childrens disco. All over-dramatised, cringeworthy and totally embarrasing. They dance to Venga Boys and The Maccayna like they are new chart hits!! Haha its unreal. There are also Indi-gangstas, who wear gold chains with names like 'APU' written on them, backwards hats and bandanas with Playboy shirts and lowrise jeans. Seriously amusing fashion sense.

But anyway, we got to Baga, all looked at each other and said 'Nope', we left early and made the desicion never ever to go there again. We decided to look at somewhere less AWFUL for new years!! But have decided to stay at Anjuna beach for xmas, so we will probally go out a few times there, but like i said to my dad, christmas wont be christmas without my family so Im not so fussed about singing carols or eating mince pies.

Time is going so quickly, it is already our third week out here. I am absaloutly loving it, I love India at the same time at utterly hating it..... but ill miss it when I leave.

We have a new project this week which means that Niema and Jo are working with me at the Orphanage rather than at the Kindergarden.
We are all working to sort out the rusty playground, paint it, clean it, sand it and decorate it mostly make it safe so that the kids can use it rather than just play in the corridor looking at it all day.
I have taken a few shots so at the end of the week i will upload them to show you what weve done, and some of the kids too. Im not going to be seeing pinkie so much this week which is a shame but the time with the kids has to be shared between 11 of us now so i cant be with her everyday. You should see her face light up now when i call her, she knows me now, its so nice.

Right, Ive gott to go back to the orphanage so ill write soon.

Friday, December 10, 2010

The Indian Leg wax/ I want to be an elf

Hello!!

So, I just got my first Indian leg wax !!! TOTALLY STRANGE!! Basically they did it all whilst I was sat down in a computer chair, in a tiny shed, with one lady sat talking very loud Concani (duno how to spell) on the phone on the bed that I should of been laying on. AND they did the whole thing with not wax strips, but jeans. As in a pair of jeans that had been cut into small strips. Yep, Jeans. And afterwards I got the best leg massage EVER! Was all a bit strange as there were three women all watching my legs get waxed, and the salon wasnt a salon, it was a shed with a plug and heat up home waxing kit, and done with jeans, but it was brilliant! And it didn't hurt at all, and best thing of all? It cost me $1.50 !!! sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet deal!

Its friday today, and raining! I know! In GOA!! IN DECEMBER!  But all of us girls (now 12 of us) staying at the centre are going to stay in a  beach shack for the weekend, and catch some sun (please please please let it be good weather) on Saturday and Sunday if we aren't too hungover from the 70p Pinacoladas! I've never had one before, but it seems like the time to start!

On Sunday night we are going to the Baga Flea Market, and I am officially banning myself from buying anything. There are all these stalls in the flea markets with these hippyish but more look like elfin people. They wear camel toe shoes and tarzan material skirts, and have dreads and tattoos and loads of piercings and the most unreal bodies ever. The clothes they wear are the most amazing things I have ever seen and I am not going to lie but I want to be one of them. HA!! I will take a photo to show you what they look like..... It is serisouly lord-of the rings mixed with tarzan and avatar. It is AWESOME!!! So if i come back dressed like an elf don't be surprised. I would already be doing it now, but it is sooooo expensive. So I might just have to get one really drunk tonight and make her switch clothes with me, then run away. A bit like when people did that rubis cube thing with clothes. Except I wont give mine back. I think that might just turn out to be the mission for tonight.

Adios Amegos and I will update you next week, were still working at st theresas (w pinkie) but also making a nativity at an all boys orphanage..... should be good times!
x

Force feeding the kids until they are sick, and then feeding that to them as well.

There are kids here who have such difficult disabilities to cope with that it is no wonder the pregnant mums cant cope, and get angry with them, especially with things like misbehaving or not eating, but some of the ways they treat the kids are so brutal.

The thing which I have found the hardest to deal with is the attitude towards food that they have. Every kid at the orphanage has a huge plate, and if they don't finish it themselves they are either beaten (not badly but with a ruler and a few hard whacks) or force fed. If i was them I would rather the ruler any day. 

On the first day I met Pinkie, it was lunch time and the Sister asked me if i wanted to feed her. So they gave me this big bowl of blended rice and veg, it smelt like shit. Seriously I am not being funny but I couldn't eat that, and I really wanted to after I saw what happened next.

Pinkie wasn't really eating, and her jaw kept clamping shut with her muscle spasms, so when one of the pregnant girls came over and gestured to the spoon i was holding i gave it to her thinking she knew how to get her to eat more.....

The pregnant girl practically ripped Pinkie from my arms, sat her up straight, bent her knees in (remember i said she cant sit up, it hurts her) and then shoved the spoon down her throat until she gagged, and got another spoonful then shoved that in her throat. With each gag she inhaled the food through sobs whilst this women literally fucking lunged this spoon into the back of her throat, taking no notice of her sobs, just repeating it again and again and again. And when Pinkie was sick, she put that on the spoon and force fed her that too. I sat in horror for about 2 minuites and didn't know whether to slap the stupid spoon weilding woman, grab pinkie and run away or act like I didn't think this was probally one of the most horrific things I had ever seen. I  looked across the room at Niche, she has warned me about this but I did NOT think she meant it like this. She gestured towards me and I just had to leave the room and burst into tears. Even writing this now, im welling up, i don't think you can understand this until you see it. 

When i went back into the room Pinkie was still sobbing, and the woman was still throat fucking her with the spoon. (sorry mum for the language but you know how horrible it was!) 
The next time I went into the room Pinkie was sat in what can only be described as a mini non-wired-up electrical chair. Her arms were strapped down so that her skin bulged around the straps and the woman was still going. When she was finally finished she violently wiped Pinkie's face and threw her into the cot. I picked her up and held her so close to me whilst she sobbed and sobbed and sobbed, the kind of sobs where you cant even breathe because you are so upset. Finally she calmed down, and drifted off to sleep with little whimpers every now and then..... the last thing I wanted to do was lay her down in that cot and leave her with them. I obviously had to do that though, so I just told her that everyday after that I would feed her, even if it took me 3 hours I would do it, and even if it only made her not sob like that for 2 weeks then it'll be worth it.

Today is my fourth day. The portion they give her is so big that i feed her a quarter or half of it (if she eats without crying, but when the tears start, i stop) and then either hide the rest in the flannel to wash her face, then wash that so it goes down the sink, scrape it into the girl who eats loads' bowl, or put it in the bin if I can.  She is full. She doesn't want it. If this kind of force feeding happened back home.... well it wouldn't happen back home because I think it would be classed as abuse.  The thing is, this doesn't just happen at the orphanage, it happens at schools, and at kindergarden where Niema and Jo are working. Niema said when the teacher mentions lunchtime the kids eyes all start to well up because they know what is going to happen.

Like Niche said to me, if anyone EVER fed my kid like this i would literally kill them.I don't understand this culture difference, it just doesn't seem ok to me, and I don't think I will ever be OK with it either. But all I can do is respect it, and do what I can to prevent it even if its with one kid. Even if its only for 2 weeks. It's still showing the feeders that you can do it in a nice way.

Pinkie

The Sisters at Mother Theresa Orphanage don't know how old Pinkie is, she was left outside the gates by her parents when she was only a baby. I think that they couldn't cope with her problems, or maybe just didn't understand them. Pinkies eyes dart around the room when you talk to her, as if she is trying to see you but the room is dark. She is completely blind, and also partially deaf. This was hard for me to imagine as having those two senses taken away from me is my worst nightmare... but she also has some kind of body spasms.... she can't sit up and because she is deaf and blind all the pregnant moms who come to help out haven't ever bothered to teach her because they have so much else to do.

Pinkie is around 4 years old, can't see, can't hear and can't even control her body. All she does, all day is lie in her crib crying. No-one picks her up, hugs her or talks to her. No-one makes her feel that she is safe. All they do is ignore her. All day. Were not meant to take photos, but we managed to get one of me and Pinkie and when I upload it you will understand why my heart broke when I saw that little girl.

When I went to go over and pick her up her neck was so stiff and so heavy I literally had to carry her like a wooden plank, she was soaked through as she had wet herself and she had clearly been lying in wet knickers for a while. We changed her, and I tried to calm her down by stroking her face and hair..... the biggest smile came onto her face, it completely made my day. All she needs is a bit of care and attention, someone to hold her and not ignore her all day because they have better things to do. All she needs is someone to adopt a child who has a disability because they can provide her with a better standard of life than what she gets now, they can actually give her a life. It hurt to know it wasn't that the Sisters didn't want to help, its just that they can't. They can't afford treatment for her, they can't afford a carer. They can't afford the right medicine so that when she sobs the pain from her muscle spasms actually goes away for a while.... all I want to do is bring her home. Even if I didn't care for her, she would be so much better off in a care home in Jersey then she is there, even that would help. It is going to be so hard to leave her on next Friday because every day now i go in and call her name she smiles and her eyes flash around like she is trying to find me. I have literally fallen in love with that girl and it is going to take a few serious words from my mum for me not to come back to India on the way home and bring her back.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

First Day at the orphanage...

Ok so this post isn't going to be quite so sunny.

Jo, Niema and Me have been split up into me working at one of the orphanages, and Niema and Jo working at the Kindergarden. We got a choice in this, so everyone was pretty happy with how it worked out. Anyway, onto the Orphanage.

We (me and a girl 'Niche' at the centre) have to get 2 busses and then a taxi to the Orphanage every morning and it takes us just over an hour to get there.

On arrival, it all looked fine and we went into the main room where Indian girls go when they are young, not married, and want or have to give up their babies for adoption. They live at the orphanage, and part of the deal is that they have to help look after the other children and babies there. These girls are mainly around 17-19 and at the moment we have 3 pregnant girls, and one who has just had her baby but has to stay to feed her for 1 month or something afterwards. The girls have all lied to their families and said they are going to work in another town to get some money, then they come to us, their bump starts to show, and they have their baby, then leave. The girls dont talk to us (volunteers) much, I dont know whether they cant be bothered or whether they dont know much English.

There are 7 babies here ranging from 2 weeks old to 6months old (so they are all tiny), and the other kids are all between 3-6. There are 7 3-6 year olds and out of the 10 of them 7 have disabilities. I'll talk you through them.

When I first walked in all the kids were in their cots and they sat up, or stood up, or did whatever they could to get our attention when we walked in the door. There is:

Niskika: A one year old baby girl who is BEAUTIFUL, she doesn't have any kind of disabilitiy but she is HIV possitive.

Preeta: A 3 year old who cant use her feet, I dont know why because her legs work fine but there is something wrong with her feet so she cant walk unless you support her. She has super arm strength because of this and also has some kind of ADHD -ish disorder.

Dash and Peroni: Two little boys, so so cute, absaloutly inseprable and love things being tied around their heads like Rambo!!

Washka: Young boy, Paralysed waiste down and has some mental issues, he cant talk or respond very well.

I cant remember the other boys name but he has water around his brain so he has a really big head, and cant be taken out much cus he is like a baby and cant support himself due to the weight of his head. He is about 4.

Priyanka: 6 year old girl, just started school.

And my Favorite, Pinkie.

When I walked into the orphanage we started to take all the kids out of their cots to play, they dont have many facilities here so the kids play in a corridor which has gates either side, despite their being a play area (it is very rusty and they dont have money to make it safe again). Their toys were a box of lego between all of them, two pushchairs (they actually want to go in it and be pushed around unlike other kids! Anyway, when we arrived most of the kids were out of their cots, so when I looked around and saw one girl (Pinkie) still in her crib I walked over towards her to bring her out to play with the rest of us.And when I did I was pretty shocked by what I saw.

------ (nxt blog 'Pinkie)

Were Here!!

Hello!

So we arrived in India safely, and despite our rep company (the well know Frontier) leaving us stranded in a Guest house, with no English speaking staff or any kind of information, then forgetting to sort our lift from one train station to the other, we are alive. We completed the introduction week in Mysore, and saw a few amazing sights before taking a HORRENDOUS 14 hour bus ride (we avoided the sleeper bus option Jade, as advised) so were in regular seats the whole time and it was kind of like a mini bungy jump for 8 hours of it.... constant up and downs! The roads that we travelled on for 14 hours can only be described as Bouley Bay or Bonne Nuit hill but with potholes, and a bus travelling at about 80 miles an hour, swerving to avoid any other traffic. It was pretty intense.
We then paid 4 rupees (50 rs is around 75p, so not a lot but still) to experience the worlds WORST toilet ever, complete with used sanitary towels lining the corners, an over flowing sink, no doors on the toilets (they werent toilets, they were holes) and someones fresh sick (rice and curry to be precise) coating the floor outside. It was really something.

Anyway, after the bus ride, we arrived in Pajim and then got a taxi to the place we are staying, otherwise known as the centre. There are another 6 girls as well as us three staying in the centre( a converted house) so its pretty nice to be able to meet people from all around the world doing the same kind of things as us. With a palm tree garden and a side house part where we sleep, we are very free to do what we want, and every night after dinner we sit outside listening to the crazily loud crickets and drink bacardi. Its a pretty good life.

Bus rides around the towns in Goa are costing us 10 rs which is around 15p.... thats for about a half an hour ride. sometimes the busses are so sticky and packed and gross, but for 15p i cant really complain. We are all settling in here much faster than in Mysore. It helps having so many girls around us, and also having the Bacardi !!!

So.... theres whats happeneing basically, the next post will be about the orphanage. :)

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Time is a ticking.....

Well, it's now officially three weeks until we set off to India to begin our adventure. It has taken so much longer than expected to make all the necessary arrangements, and so many more things then we first realised needed to be sorted out. Still needing to be sorted are: a police check, jabs, visas, how on earth I am going to manage money and what on earth I am going to pack.
On that note, what on earth AM I going to pack? I was thinking about this the other day. Obviously you want to look nice but I just dont think it is going to be possible. Its going to have to be Trek Plus jackets and super-breathable t-shirts. What shoes do you wear? Clearly open toe shoes would be cooler, but they are going to rub aren't they really. Trekking boots would be ideal, but way too hot. So maybe cross country trainers? Then again, they would be taking up valuable space really wouldn't they. Although I could hang them from my bag like they do on TV. Hmmmm..... so much to think about. I have no idea how I am going to pack my whole life into a rucksack, what if I forget something? I know that I will be able to pick up things there but say, what if something embarrasing breaks, like a bra or something..... where on earth will I buy a new one if im in the middle of no-where? Or will i have to go without for a year?! Maybe I should take two backpacks, just to be safe....