There are kids here who have such difficult disabilities to cope with that it is no wonder the pregnant mums cant cope, and get angry with them, especially with things like misbehaving or not eating, but some of the ways they treat the kids are so brutal.
The thing which I have found the hardest to deal with is the attitude towards food that they have. Every kid at the orphanage has a huge plate, and if they don't finish it themselves they are either beaten (not badly but with a ruler and a few hard whacks) or force fed. If i was them I would rather the ruler any day.
On the first day I met Pinkie, it was lunch time and the Sister asked me if i wanted to feed her. So they gave me this big bowl of blended rice and veg, it smelt like shit. Seriously I am not being funny but I couldn't eat that, and I really wanted to after I saw what happened next.
Pinkie wasn't really eating, and her jaw kept clamping shut with her muscle spasms, so when one of the pregnant girls came over and gestured to the spoon i was holding i gave it to her thinking she knew how to get her to eat more.....
The pregnant girl practically ripped Pinkie from my arms, sat her up straight, bent her knees in (remember i said she cant sit up, it hurts her) and then shoved the spoon down her throat until she gagged, and got another spoonful then shoved that in her throat. With each gag she inhaled the food through sobs whilst this women literally fucking lunged this spoon into the back of her throat, taking no notice of her sobs, just repeating it again and again and again. And when Pinkie was sick, she put that on the spoon and force fed her that too. I sat in horror for about 2 minuites and didn't know whether to slap the stupid spoon weilding woman, grab pinkie and run away or act like I didn't think this was probally one of the most horrific things I had ever seen. I looked across the room at Niche, she has warned me about this but I did NOT think she meant it like this. She gestured towards me and I just had to leave the room and burst into tears. Even writing this now, im welling up, i don't think you can understand this until you see it.
When i went back into the room Pinkie was still sobbing, and the woman was still throat fucking her with the spoon. (sorry mum for the language but you know how horrible it was!)
The next time I went into the room Pinkie was sat in what can only be described as a mini non-wired-up electrical chair. Her arms were strapped down so that her skin bulged around the straps and the woman was still going. When she was finally finished she violently wiped Pinkie's face and threw her into the cot. I picked her up and held her so close to me whilst she sobbed and sobbed and sobbed, the kind of sobs where you cant even breathe because you are so upset. Finally she calmed down, and drifted off to sleep with little whimpers every now and then..... the last thing I wanted to do was lay her down in that cot and leave her with them. I obviously had to do that though, so I just told her that everyday after that I would feed her, even if it took me 3 hours I would do it, and even if it only made her not sob like that for 2 weeks then it'll be worth it.
Today is my fourth day. The portion they give her is so big that i feed her a quarter or half of it (if she eats without crying, but when the tears start, i stop) and then either hide the rest in the flannel to wash her face, then wash that so it goes down the sink, scrape it into the girl who eats loads' bowl, or put it in the bin if I can. She is full. She doesn't want it. If this kind of force feeding happened back home.... well it wouldn't happen back home because I think it would be classed as abuse. The thing is, this doesn't just happen at the orphanage, it happens at schools, and at kindergarden where Niema and Jo are working. Niema said when the teacher mentions lunchtime the kids eyes all start to well up because they know what is going to happen.
Like Niche said to me, if anyone EVER fed my kid like this i would literally kill them.I don't understand this culture difference, it just doesn't seem ok to me, and I don't think I will ever be OK with it either. But all I can do is respect it, and do what I can to prevent it even if its with one kid. Even if its only for 2 weeks. It's still showing the feeders that you can do it in a nice way.
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