I am sick of big feet.

The difficulty in living in a small town/city/island is that when there are a lot of people with big feet you tend to get trodden on a lot.

Jersey is that kind of place. I had completely forgotten what it is like to live here until this weekend. Whatever you do, or say someone will hear you, someone will see you or know who your out with or be cousins with who your out with, or be their cousins babysitter or some crap. Literally take me somewhere where I know no one, where everyone has tiny feet that you can't easily stand on. Good Lord.

It's like some kind of incestuous pit where even if you try at great lengths to avoid anyone who you know, or your mate knows, or your sisters mate knows, you WILL get pissed off and you WILL piss people off. Whatever you do. Always.

I hate that circles have to mix. I hate that awkward feeling you get when you don't want to see that person, you feel weird about your mates hanging with them, and you generally want them to just disappear from the planet yet they continue to REMAIN. And I hate that feeling you get when YOU are the one hanging out with the people who are linked to your mates, and it shouldn't matter, but it does, and your just mates, but it's still SHIT. I wonder if you can tell I am highly irate?

I cannot honestly believe that I have to stay in this place for another two years. I don't actually feel as though I can do it. I've done it for a couple of months and I am about to kill someone. Maybe it will be different when my friends come home. If they come home. They bloody better come home.

I literally feel like sitting in my room, lying in my bed for the next few weeks. Not seeing anyone, not going out just sitting. And I am not even depressed, it just saves me from foot pain.

I can't even explain how happy I am that I am going to Brighton next weekend to see Bells, Jade and Gina. Even those three days away will help, I know it. Ease this tension, and hopefully I can come back totally fine, and calm and able to cope again. Pleeeeeease. Otherwise, Good Lord.... I have absolutely no idea how I am going to do this????

Joie de vivre

After getting severly depressed and annoyed that I was home and not leaving anytime soon, I decided I HAD to leave Jersey for at least a few days otherwise my brain may, in fact, explode. So, I booked VEEEERRRRYYY expensive last minute flights to London and trained up to Reading to see Lea Lea Bickersnipe. Whenever she is home we always get so close, and then when she goes to uni we dont really talk for months (not purposly its just harder) and this year I found it even more difficult when she left. This girl is probably the best person I have ever met. Ever. Literally. I think she is the only person who can get every thing out of me, and who I am completely honest with and who most importantly, doesn't judge anything. Just offers advice, sometimes just offers a hug. And knows which one to give at the right time..

Anyway, enough of the Leah-Love!!


I went to see her the other weekend, which was amasing. She is in Reading uni, seems like a really nice area. She has this immense house which has like 10 bedrooms.... so so great. She complains that it is minging and dirty but I swear she forgets how great it is to live AWAY from parents. I would happily live in a hole in the ground if it meant I could live with my friends. Although to be fair my family are fantastic, its just difficult having people to answer to and explain to and that you have to watch what you say around.... but thats what comes with having younger siblings.

Anyway, so I have this new job, I am working in PR which essentially means looking after companies, re-branding, organizing events and raising awareness of them. It has quite a lot of writing and ideas work, which are fantastic but most of the writing is press releases which means it is very formal (a way which i am sooooo not used to writing in) and also at the moment, because I am starting at the bottom, I am doing a lot of very admin-heavy work. It is totally fine at the moment, but soon I am going to push to be given a little more writing work. If you don't ask you dont get!

Other than that I am planning on auditioning for NYT in February which is very exciting!! I thought I may as well give it a try- see if I can get anywhere with acting because if don't ever try I will always wonder.... so anyway my sister is going to help me with that.

I've decided that because I am staying here i need to do things. Which obviously never ever happens, but I am going to try make some things happen next year, so that I dont turn into a middle agd working woman and lose my 'vi de jour' or whatever.

I need to learn French.
I need to audition for NYT.
I need to learn a new skill (there are lots of things here, jewelry making, or massage, there is even some hippy chakra courses)
I also need to try to learn about man things incase said man is not about, so that I can do things such as fix a car/sort out a fuse box. (I know, it is a very big expectation to essentially learn general mechanics but i need to learn this stuff as presently i dont even know how to open my bonnet!!)

So anyway, lovely Highlands college shall assist me with my new learning. Oh and I am doing uberedge.com again. The Just Dance one. Nikki is actually fantastic I think I have a little girl crush on her.

By the way, how boring has my life got? Wow the last posts were much more dramatic then this 'what i will do with my life now' post. Hmmmm. If I wasn't as sensible, I would totally just go away again, but to be fair I am being offered a qualification and experience. It is fantastic. I can't complain at all. So i shouldn't, and I should get on with it, enjoy it as much as possible, and then travel/uni afterward.

After all, two years goes by pretty quickly nowadays.

Back Home

So, I never heard about what happened to that girl. To be fair, I don't think that it was one of her friends top priorities to tell me/michael how she was. It is crazy the things that can happen, and how quickly it can all happen too.

So, now it is October- as IF I haven't written on this for so long! So after Thailand we went to Indonesia - me and Niema traveled from Medan to Sumatra and had the mot unbelievable time.... we trekked through the jungle, saw wild orangutans and their babies, slept under the stars and essentially walked for 7 hours a day. It was hard. But it was absolutely fantastic.

We didn't spend much, and stayed in unreal accommodation in Lake Toba- the locals were so so so friendly and we had a great time- we were kind of sad that we were being rushed so much because we had to meet Jo in Bali as she was having a bit of a hard time. Anyway, by this point I started to realize that I had to go home - I had three hundred pounds in my bank and to get a flight home it was around 200. Bad times.

As anyone from my hometown will know, I have been writing for Gallery magazine so all of my travel stories are in there (which makes me super lazy and not bothered to write about it on here as much which is kind of bad). Anyway, I will link my articles when they are all up on the Gallery site. If your interested you can just google 'Gallery Magazine Jersey' and it will be the first search, you can view 'online edition' and then just look at the contents page.... stressy jessy articles in the travel section are all mine!

Anywho, about being home.....

Well, I have to say it is really strange. I have a job now, a proper job.... all a bit weird. I even have a business card! Doooff!! So looks like this is me for the next 2 years or so.... strange feeling knowing I am glued here now. But i guess it means, if i save properly, then I can go away for ages, or go to Uni or whatever.

Jo is in Australia, and Niema is back here saving to go to India for a few months (Fiji plans have been scrapped for now). Its just weird to think I wont be going anywhere for a while. Well, I guess I will be going to uni's - as in trips to see friends. Obv that isn't really abroad but still its nice to get out of TINY TINY Jersey, and see some faces you don't know.